Pretzel Pzazz – All Dressed

Let’s call it what it is – it’s a bag of pretzels. There may be various shapes and sizes, but the reality, is this is a bag of pretzels. The same pretzels that they throw in as basically filler for party mixes to pad the weight. I’ve developed a habit of eating the pretzel pieces first in those mixes because I tend to not like them.

So then you might wonder, what on earth would convince me to buy an entire bag of pretzels? Well dear reader, I’m here to tell you that I am also human, and prone to severe lapses in judgements at times. I don’t know how else to describe this purchase. Maybe it was optimism that this could be more than just pretzels with an extra coating of salt. Or maybe I just walked into the store with a low sodium level for the day and was craving it. Who can really say?

What I can tell you is this is exactly what I thought it would be…pretzels. There’s a few shapes here but anyone whose had a party mix has been subjected to most of these shapes. There’s the standard sticks, the knots, and the nugget. Observant readers would also notice this flavour is all dressed, which I have gone on record multiple times saying I don’t enjoy. Whilst that is true, I’ve also started to come around to it. That I’m starting to realize if I rule out that flavour, I’m severely restricting my snack diet here in the Frigid North.

Texture is nothing out of the ordinary here. The outer shell is hard and brittle, and once you crunch past it you just have the plain dough on the inside that’s largely dry and just more crunch fodder. Again, nothing out of the ordinary, and yet something about this makes it hard to stop. Maybe it’s the seasoning or the flavour that is carrying these, but I find myself shamefully enjoying these more than I was expecting.

The flavour is salty on the outside. Unsurprisingly it’s pretty bland on the inside, as most pretzels are. The coating can only do so much if it can’t soak into the pieces and are trapped on the crunchy, hard outer shell. The one exception are the knot pieces, where the coating really gets through those cracks and crevices. Again, these are quite salty but something about that saltiness keeps me going in for more. I’m a bit ashamed to admit I finished half a bag in one sitting. I don’t know why but I couldn’t stop. The seasoning is noticeably all dressed in it’s delivery – it’s got an almost tomato umami flavour, and it’s got the sharp notes from the vinegar and barbeque sauce.

I can’t explain what it is about these, but I keep eating more. They are almost exactly what you would expect on paper, pretzels caked in all dressed seasoning. It’s so simple and yet so addictive, I’m not sure what’s happening. It’s salty and dry at the same time, but I can’t help but think I will likely get this again.