Tirol Chocolate – Five Cheese

I often try to keep an open mind, and like to be optimistic about strange, or uncommon food combinations. If only I could apply that level of optimism to other facets of my life. But I digress. Sometimes I come across things that make me question whether I can maintain that optimism. Today is one of those days. And a product from my favourite Japanese chocolate, no less. Just to further complicate things, this was purchased in my trip to Japan, and it was touted as the #1 seller when I was at the official Tirol store. There’s just so many things going on that I can’t really make sense of it all just right now. What I will say is this is definitely one of the stranger things I’ll be trying. Even by my standards.

The product is basically a cheese-chocolate in the most literal sense; the chocolate is supposedly comprised of five different cheeses. So based on what my translator app is telling me, the breakdown goes like this:

1. 32.6% Gouda
2. 25.2% Emmental (variety of Swiss)
3. 10.3% Camembert
4. 7.7% Gorgonzola
5. 7.4% Cheddar

For those who aren’t masters of mental math (though I should be, on account of I’m Asian..) this racks up the total of 83.2%. That implies that this morsel is comprised of 83.2% cheese. Let that sink in. Only 16.8% of this piece of chocolate is other ingredients like sugar, chocolate and all the other stuff you get in a normal chocolate.

The pack smells a lot like a very specific kind of cheese, that I can’t quite put my finger on. If you’ve ever gone to a Korean fried chicken restaurant and ordered the cheese chicken, you’ll know that the cheese is usually just some cheese powder on it. I can’t be too certain of what the cheese powder is made of, but it’s like some combination of a savoury cheese, probably cheddar, and a cheese used in desserts like mascarpone. It’s a strong smell, and may put some people off. I personally love that cheese powder, so I don’t mind. I have to remind myself though, that this is a chocolate, and not an actual block of cheese. The cheese smell also reminds me of those rice crackers that have an added cheese flavour to them. It has that kind of cheddar smell to it, but you can also smell the sweetness of sugar to it.

The chocolate is this weird, saturated looking yellow that’s almost beige but not quite. The bottom reveals what appears to be a plethora of freeze dried pieces of cheese. At least I think it’s freeze dried, on account of I can’t imagine normal cheese being shelf stable. It’s at this point I have to wonder if I should still consider this chocolate, or treat it more like a savoury snack. But enough with hesitation, sometimes you just gotta go for it.

Let’s start with the flavour. I am not a cheese expert by any means. What I can tell you is that the Gouda and the Emmental are generally a bit on the mild side, so mostly they are in the background providing texture and general cheese flavour you come to expect from products. Camembert is similar to Brie and has an equally mild, but nutty, almost earth taste (which I can’t really discern from this). Cheddar has that distinct sharp taste, which I can taste from this piece. Gorgonzola is kind of like blue cheese for me, in that it has a distinct bite to it. It’s a very strong flavour and it’s definitely present here, even though it’s supposedly only 7.7%. I guess anymore and it would overpower the other flavours.

Texture here is pretty simple, and nothing too complicated. It’s like if you were to eat a piece of “cooked” cheese. You know those Parmesan crisps that you can buy where they just put it in an oven til it melts and turns into a hard, cracker like texture? It’s kind of like that. Or another example, when you put cheese slices in the microwave and heat until they turn into a hard flat slice of crunchy cheese. It’s like eating that, except there’s a few different cheeses going on. The crunch isn’t consistent, so I’m guessing there’s different pieces of the five cheeses at play.

Both the flavour and texture combine to make for a very confusing piece of candy. Can I really call it candy? It’s much more like a cheese flavoured snack than a chocolate. A cheese flavoured snack with hints of chocolate to put it altogether in a nice, mess free square. I’m not too sure how to feel about this, especially the fact that it’s their number one product. I will say that it definitely serves as a savoury snack, more so than a chocolate or sweet of any kind.

It’s definitely not for everyone, but if you can get past the concept that it’s more of a cheese product than a chocolate product, you might actually enjoy this. Don’t go in thinking there’s any hint of chocolate flavour though. Remember, this is 83.2% cheese. If you don’t like cheese, you’re going to have a bad time.But if you do like cheese, then by all means, you might just enjoy this.