Programmed Obsolescence
There’s a simple concept that I like to think I use to live a big part of my life by. Hanlon’s razor is a simple one – don’t attribute to malice something that could be explained by stupidity. All this really means, at least in my interpretation is that sometimes people’s actions are most easily explained by negligence, incompetence or just general lack of caring. It’s often not malice or ill intent, though we may interpret it that way. Another way to look at it is that stupidity and negligence account for more “wrong” or “bad” in this world than malice.
It sounds simple, but even in my personal life I find it difficult to accept sometimes. This is likely because even I have ego and pride, and when someone does something to wrong me or make me feel slighted, I take things to heart and feel it’s personal. More likely than not it’s not the case. But in some weird twisted way, I want to believe that it was done out of malice, because that shows intent and attention. It’s almost worse that it was simply negligence, or completely unintentional due to lack of forethought. I believe deep down everyone wants to feel like they matter; the only thing worse than being reviled or hated, is simply fading out of existence, never being acknowledged and being lost to time.
It’s such a strange cycle for humans; whether we like to admit it or not there’s a deep seated desire in all of us to want to be special, to be unique, to set ourselves apart from everyone else. It’s one of the driving forces. And yet, if everyone else has the same driving force, what really sets an individual apart from all the others? Is it hard work? Natural ability? Luck? Some intersection of the three?
These are things I struggle with from time to time, but more so lately. As solitary as I am, I’m not immune to the trappings of ego and pride. It certainly doesn’t help that I’ve been described as overly sentimental, and tend to hold on to things I shouldn’t. I like to use the analogy of the tightly guarded secret island. Not many people land or find the island to begin with, even less managed to stay on the island for very long. Those that manage to stay on the island, either through sheer persistence or sneaking inland, are generally held in high regard and welcomed warmly. It’s why those that betray the trust of the island are brutally excommunicated and thrown off the island to fend for themselves. Those that don’t however are always welcome, and get special treatment. That number is very small though, and that’s mostly by design. The island is all about quality, not quantity.
How much of this is simply the bias and our frame of reference, or projecting onto others? I mean, when you really think about it, you can never truly know someone without somehow hacking into their brain and thoughts. And how do we know that those same thoughts don’t betray them as much as they do us? When it comes down to it, each persons interaction with another informs their opinion and judgement of them, and in that way it’s entirely possible that one person can exist in various “versions” of themselves in the minds of each of the people they interact with. Surely, there will be some overlap and common themes that we call personality traits. But sometimes there are subtle differences that would paint a very different picture. I feel like it’s a common thought that big differences are what create rifts between people, but I hold that it’s often the small, seemingly negligible ones that compile together to create differences and said rifts.
What strange creatures we truly are.