Hi-Chew – 4 Grape Variety
Expectations are a tricky thing. The same experience can be seen as good and bad by two different people, entirely on the basis of their expectation. If you have high expectations, and said expectations are not met, it would be a bad experience. If the reverse were true, then you would have a good experience since you went in with low expectations, and anything above that is just gravy. It should come to no surprise then, that I have very high expectations for Hi-Chew. I want to tell you that I like to temper my expectations so that I won’t be disappointed, and be pleasantly surprised, but few brands have been able to impress me consistently, despite rising expectations. And I assure you, these expectations rise steadily, with no end in sight, much like our water levels unfortunately.
I must admit, there is a bit of dread brewing in my gut for this review. When I think about the pinnacle of Hi-Chew, I think back to my experience with the grape flavours. As it happens, I found this variety available. It’s a limited variety, but it’s almost as if they knew what I was dreaming about, extracted my thoughts through some weird inception style technique, and made it into a reality. You know, that or solid market research has proven that grape is one of their best selling flavours. I prefer to romanticize the former. The reason I dread this is two fold – 1) I may not be able to distinguish fully, the depths and differences between these two flavours (as was proven in the Heisei Mix review), and 2) if this mix turns out to be the best, where do I go from there? What else is left for me?? I am genuinely concerned that this variety may cause a crisis of faith here. These things are also limited, so if I end up loving them, I’ll be like a meth head with nothing to my name other than rugged looks and a pretty mouth. The things I do for internet points.
Well, I’ve stalled long enough. Lettuce begin. My mouth is watering a bit just looking at all those juicy grapes on the package. This mix has 4 flavours, 2 red grape varieties and 2 green grape varieties. To be more specific, they are called Kyoho Red Grape, Concord Red Grape, Muscat of Alexandria Green Grape and Italian Chardonnay. I am unashamed to admit that there is a 90% chance I won’t be able to tell the difference between the two reds or two greens. The only thing I do know is that with this many grapes in one pack, I’m bound to enjoy it. I feel like it’s also worth mentioning that these sold out spectacularly fast. I don’t hold out hope of getting another pack of these any time soon.
This bag has 18 pieces in total. It’s good that each of these wrappers has the name on it. I wouldn’t be able to tell these apart otherwise. Matching up the wrappers to the names on the package, it looks like our first one is the Kyoho red grape. I don’t like to say never, but I’m fairly certain I’ll never get tired of that aromatic Hi-Chew grape smell. This one tastes very similar to the red grape flavour that they use in the standard line-up. That is to say, it is awesome, but very familiar, so while it’s great, it’s nothing out of the ordinary from a flavour perspective. It’s hard to improve on nigh perfection, so not much else left to be said about this. Let’s continue.
This next one is the Concord red grape flavour. Smell wise, it smells a little different from the original one. While the Kyoho flavour is identical to the standard lineup red grape, this one is very slightly distinguishable. For starters, It has a more….”rounded”? smell to it. Whereas the other flavour has a distinct slightly tart, acidic aftertaste, this one doesn’t have that same smell. Flavour wise, this one starts out a little different, and has none of that tart, or acidic taste to it, resulting in a very sweet, rounded flavour to it. It’s more akin to what you would imagine are the type of grapes used in jellies and jams. While this one is sweeter, it has a bit less complexity to the Kyoho flavour due to the lack of the acidity. That being said, if you were to hand these two pieces to me, I wouldn’t notice much difference, and chalk up any difference to my own taste buds being off or not paying attention.
Muscat of Alexandria green grape is the next one up, and I’m excited for these next two. Regardless if they taste different or not, I’m just itching to have muscat or green grape flavour. I haven’t had these in a long time, and it seems like the red grape flavour is the one in the standard line up these days, so I don’t get many opportunities to try the green ones. In terms of how it smells, it doesn’t smell quite like the red grape ones. I’m not good with describing smells, but it somehow has a “fizzy” touch to it, if it makes sense. I’m guessing that’s mostly the floral notes to the flavour. Apparently the Muscat of Alexandria is believed to be one of the few remaining non-genetically modified grapes that still exist. In terms of taste, it reminds me of childhood. The flavour itself is quite sweet, but not overly so. It’s not like the red grape in that the flavour white not quite simple, is not nearly as complex as the red grape. It is very reminiscent of a sweet ice wine; it’s sweet and flavourful, but is simple yet elegant in the delivery. It’s kind of like the girl next door. She’s not a supermodel or anything, but sometimes what you want is the realistic, down to earth girl, and it’s in that “simplicity” that makes her all the more perfect.
Our final flavour today is the Italian Chardonnay. I’m not much of a wine drinker, so I can’t provide much added insight in terms of what a good or bad Chardonnay is. What I do know is that they are supposed to be a more neutral grape, suited for champagne and sparkling wines. The smell on this is….a little flatter? Realistically I can’t tell the difference between this and the muscat flavour. In terms of taste, this kind of reminds me of a mix of the muscat and the Kyoho red. What I mean by this is, it starts off very similar to the muscat, and has that distinct green grape sweetness to it. It however, differs from the muscat in that it has a bit of acidity to it that is ever present in the Kyoho red. The end result is I daresay, the best of both worlds.
Ranking this will be tough be cause truth be told, I love four of these flavours. It’s like trying to ask me to choose between Kate Beckinsale, or Kate Beckinsale from 30 days in the past. They’re both good, with pros and cons, but ultimately I would love them both equally. That said, I do have to choose, so here it is:
- Italian Chardonnay
- Muscat of Alexandria
- Kyoho Red Grape
- Concord Red Grape
The green grapes are the clear winner for me here, and it was a tough choice. One the one hand, the muscat is exactly as I remembered my childhood as, but on the other the Chardonnay is just so unique. The Chardonnay won out in the end because it has that distinct “oomph” to it that edges out the muscat, which while enjoyable, is a bit one note when compared to the more complex flavour of the sparkling wine grape. The reds are good, don’t get me wrong, I just liked the green better. In terms of why Kyoho beat out the concord – the concord tastes great, but for the same reason as the Chardonnay, the Kyoho wins out because it has a more complex flavour. Don’t let that fool you into thinking that I’ve matured or grown wiser. I still enjoy the straight up sweet sometimes, but enjoy the more complexity that the acidity provides.
All this is to say, if you see this anywhere, get it. I don’t care if they’re charging you 10 bucks for it. GET IT. I myself would be willing to pay a hefty premium to get a second bag of these. Seriously. If you see these and want to share some with your friendly neighborhood bear, you know where to find me.